4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
