you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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