omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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