it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
