I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
only if we run a train.
done.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize