you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
