Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
