Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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