So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
