so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
