im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
