just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
