what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
