me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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