dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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