She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
