i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
