Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
