i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
