I CAN MOONWALK!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
