Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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