I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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