We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
