is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
high people should be assigned attendants
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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