hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you had me at cake vodka
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
