***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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