rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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