happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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