im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
