Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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