all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize