ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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