i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
