you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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