Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize