honey bunches of taint.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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