please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The ass gains better be worth it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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