Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
