Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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