The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
