chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
