go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
