i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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