I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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