conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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