I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize