Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it glows. i had to have it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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