stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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