I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
