similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
