I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize