I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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