I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
