She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
