i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
