I wanna passion pit in your ass
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My penis needs a shock collar
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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