I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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