It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
