Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
