what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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