i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
