Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
