Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
