I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Im part way to drunk.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
