I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
